People who believe that you must be able to pinpoint a moment of conversion are often amazed and surprised when I say I cannot do that. As far back as my memory goes I remember being a Christian – one for whom God was at the core of his life. I often cite John the Baptist who leapt in his mother’s womb when she was in the presence of a pregnant Mary.
There have been high point and low points – but never an absence.
I grew up with a dad who always had questions for God and about the Bible. People argue that this is destabilising. I would suggest the opposite was true for me. For my dad God was a living reality it is just that he didn’t always understand or comprehend His plan or His Word. For a child, this meant that God ( as much as absent grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in Holland) was a vibrant reality.
There have been mentors who assisted my faith who include my parents and some of those mentioned in the Melchisedeks section. There have been highs and lows, times of growth and stagnation.
In my teen years there was an upheaval in the church over the concept of the “Second Blessing” of the Holy Spirit. Congregation and families were split. I do not remember it as a time of grace. So years later when a similar event happened in another church I was already on the defensive. The second experience proved far more formative – after years of reflection.
With the wisdom that comes from hindsight i came to understand that so many people grew spiritually and as a consequence were far more active in the promotion of Christ and his kingdom. Families changed, lives changed a local Anglican priest was converted and young people went to the four corners of the world living Christ.
I remember having so many questions for Father God in my walk of life even over the age of 40. I eventually learned that I could ask Him all that I needed to know without feeling condemned by what the preacher (man) said, which was somewhat what your dad experienced.
Father God welcomes our questions and is pleased when we come to Him confessing our weaknesses, doubts and unbeliefs. The bible instructs us to come to Him as a little child… This is found, in so many words, in many scriptures.
I’m grateful to have a intimate relationship with Him whereby we can communicate together and He understands my every need. Thank you for sharing this intriguing passage.