Children

Faith in the West

Posted on April 16, 2025 by Pieter Stok

There are times, many times, when I become despondent about the Christian faith in the west.  From its “me” centred  individualism and rampant selfish lifestyle, to glib culturally hip media presentations replacing authentic worship, and onto its lack of cutting edge into the 21stC mindset, there is much to depress me.

On Sunday we had a breath of life. A glimpse of the past and a possibility for the future. We attended a Lutheran church in Brønnøysund on the west coast of Norway – exactly halfway between the north and south. It was Palm Sunday and the children were incorporated into the service with palm branches. They presented the congregation with songs they had learnt for the occasion. There was also a baptism. Both mother and baby were dressed in traditional costumes. The church was full and there was a clear “buzz” of joy in the congregation. There was not a data projector to be seen. Psalters were handed out. Grandchildren hugged grandparents, friends greeted each other warmly and overall, there was a warm conviviality. It was clear that Jesus was present in the songs, words and attitudes.

It was an environment that a neighbour could be invited to. When an old man using a walker came in, a person vacated their seat, another got a cushion and a still another made sure he sat down safely. “Pastoral” care was obvious.

What have we lost with the obsession for mega churches, CEO’s and business teams running churches with smooth efficiency and ice cold hearts. It is difficult in these environments to share the highs and lows of life’s journeys and to celebrate and grieve together as the family we should be.

Am I just being a grumpy old man, or have we lost something, something precious, in our modern worship practices?

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Parenting Children for a Life of Faith – Helping Children meet and know God: Rachel Turner, a review

Posted on February 12, 2025 by Pieter Stok

Parenting Children for a Life of Faith – Helping Children meet and know God: Rachel Turner. Bible Reading Fellowship 2018

I am always on the lookout for resources to assist Christian parents in the amazing but terrifying task of discipling their children in faith. The good news is that I have come across two related resources which I can heartily recommend. One is a book and the second is a video series. My strongest encouragement is to get involved with both, but I know (as an ex-English teacher) that there are reluctant readers out there in parent land, so the video series is a minimum!

The Book:

Parenting Children for a life of Faith by Rachel Turner. (This is available from Koorong and Book Depository in an omnibus edition which includes Parenting Children for a Life of Purpose & Parenting Children for a Life of Confidence – (I haven’t yet completely read the latter two).

The Book: Parenting Children for a Life of Faith has the by-line “Helping children meet and know God.” The book includes chapters on modelling a relationship with God and countering wrong views of God. The chapter “Chatting with God” deals with the idea that our relationship is not just meant for set times of reading the Bible or devotions but is an all of life activity. I found this chapter particularly helpful although I would have liked to see a greater emphasis on Bible reading with regard to “hearing” from God. With that quibble aside it is very encouraging. There is also a separate chapter on more “formal” prayer. Another chapter that was very helpful was entitled “Surfing the waves” which is about making the most, as a parent, of the opportunities that arise in the ebb and flow of your child’s spiritual growth.

Other chapters include “Helping children engage with church” and “Starting well with under-fives.”

In part 2 of the omnibus she has a chapter on telling your children the whole gospel story from a young age. She adds examples as to how this can work. This, she suggests, helps children to make sense of the world and its brokenness from a young age. This important idea deserves an article/review just on its own as I found it a good antidote to the, often piecemeal, manner in which the gospel is presented to children.

Overall, I found the content to be practical and Biblical with an abundance of helpful examples. It is a book I wish I had had when I was a younger parent.

The Parenting for Faith Video Course

Rachel Turner also presents a (free) 8 part video course on the same topic. https://www.parentingforfaith.brf.org.uk/ For a sober lad like me her exuberance is sometimes overwhelming, however, putting that aside it is a very valuable resource. There are also downloadable handbooks available to lead you through the course. It is the type of course where it would be very valuable to meet with a few like minded parents and do it together over 8 weeks.

In an era where there are so many “attractions” vying for the heart of your child, here is a book and a video course which can develop your parenting skills in that crucial and eternally relevant arena of faith development. Parents of faith want their children to engage in a life under the Kingship of Jesus from the earliest possible moment.

Pieter Stok

Categories: Child Theology, Children, christian, christian education, Church, Faith, Family | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

One Generation

Posted on February 10, 2025 by Pieter Stok

A while back, my wife wrote a post that has continued to haunt us both – One generation from extinction. It speaks of the urgency of training and nurturing our children in faith – particularly in a post Christian world.

To this end, I am in the process of setting up a website/blog that collects and distributes resources that will enable parents and churches find material that will assist them in this crucial task. I would love to hear of books, websites and articles that have assisted you. Join us at Familyfaith.blog.

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Burying our Children – a blog from the past

Posted on July 26, 2024 by Pieter Stok
Burying Our Children
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Blessing our children

Posted on September 29, 2023 by Pieter Stok

Below are two posts from ‘way back’ that are still relevant today. In fact, from my perspective, matters have deteriorated. Thoughtful feedback would be appreciated.

Blessing Children
Blessing Our Children – continued
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Parenting

Posted on September 16, 2023 by Pieter Stok

Below is an article on parenting that I wrote many years ago … it is still relevant

Just One Reason Why a living Christian faith is Important
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A New Book Soon!

Posted on May 10, 2023 by Pieter Stok

I have been spending time trying to get my wife’s book ready – hopefully it will be available soon. We are excited as the proofs should arrive this coming week. I will write more about it in the coming days.

Coming in Print and ePub

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Medieval parenting

Posted on September 3, 2022 by Pieter Stok

My wife and I were discussing parenting for faith last night as we often do. We reflected on the perilous social conditions that confront Christian parents today.

I cast my mind back to my own parents who were foundational in their influence on my life, especially with regard to faith. My parents were two very different people. My mother believed and knew what she believed and nothing would dissuade her. My dad, on the other hand, had a more tumultuous relationship with his Creator. He struggled with understanding God’s actions, His revelation of himself, His fairness and many other aspects of the God revealed in Scripture. But there was one absolute truth that both my parents abided by – God was real! And that is what I mean by Medieval Parenting – there is no question around the existence of God. It is a given. In Medieval times there were no atheists. In my family, growing up, the reality of God’s existence was always at the heart of our family life. This truth guided our decision making, priorities and also guided us through life, which, at the time, being a migrant family with few resources, was an amazing comfort. We were in God’s hands no matter what happened or whether or not we understood Him..

What I particularly appreciated about my father’s relationship with God was that God was a constant presence in the conversations. In prayer, in family devotions and at Christian gatherings God was always in the middle the conversation. Never on the periphery.

Looking back, I treasure my father’s open struggles in understanding God. It gave me a living example of what we often see in the Psalms – the psalmist questioning God, angry at God, confused by God but always conversing with God.

“Medieval parenting” starts with a living and real relationship with God and the question of His existence is never part of the conversation.

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The Pornification of our Culture

Posted on September 1, 2022 by Pieter Stok

Currently I am reading Carl R. Trueman’s brilliant unpacking of our contemporary social morass in his book, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self. This mind-bending unravelling of the nature of modern identity in the West is a “must read”. However, I just want to reflect on one chapter: Chapter 8 – The Triumph of the Erotic. In this chapter Trueman explores how Surrealism, inspired by the likes of Marx but particularly Freud, made a concerted attempt to destroy Christianity via the means of a sexual revolution.

The author traces how this process has worked in what he describes as the “pornification of mainstream culture.” We see this in more recent times through the rise of Hugh Hefner’s Playboy magazine in the 1960s through to explicit sexual acts in mainstream television and films in the 2000s. There has been an increasingly overt wearing down of the old sexual morals. What was once hidden  in dark places is now celebrated out in the open. As he points out, in today’s context Hefner looks conservative. Now porn in every aspect our culture is the norm.

The author then goes on to look at the implications for violence particularly towards women, and the impact of this revolution on the feminist movement as a whole.

My precis is brief and insufficient, however, the question this chapter raises for me is, how do we protect our children from this inescapable onslaught? In some ways contemporary society must resemble the situation of the early church in a pagan environment in which the culture was etched into every aspect of daily life. How do you grow up faithful to the gospel in such an environment?

Here are some thoughts, but I would love readers to add their contributions as well. For the church, this is a communal issue in which community must play a crucial role in the response:

  1. Nurturing faith must be a parent and church’s highest priority. Faith is both the foundation for protection but also the restorer when failures occur.
  2. Modelling within the family and church is key: what we say, what we watch, how we respond to the inappropriate must always be consistent with our faith. Children watch our every move and are expert at detecting hypocrisy.
  3. Nurturing responsibility is also important. Age-appropriate steps in trust and responsibility are essential. Teaching strategies in reading and watching and choosing what to read and watch is essential.
  4. Many of the practical parenting ideas given (by a variety of programs) with regard to the internet are helpful, but ultimately children need to be responsible for their own choices and action.

These are just a few broad ideas. But Carl Trueman is right when describes this as an assault. The “pornification of our society” is an attack on faith, the family and the church. There are many who see these as outdated institutions. Therefore, we must be prepared to defend these institutions vigorously and passionately with the welfare of the most vulnerable foremost in our mind.

Categories: Children, christian education, Christianity, Faith | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

One Generation from Extinction

Posted on February 11, 2019 by Pieter Stok

The following is another post written by my wife:

When I married I lost my surname and took my husband’s. My sisters also married and then the name we had since birth was lost from our family. With no brothers to be able to carry the name into the future, it was gone.

My parents-in-law also saw the future of their name disappear. They had two sons, who married and gave them eight granddaughters. Whether by marriage or when they die, the surname will be lost in one generation.

photo 4Our faith heritage can suffer a similar fate. In just one generation the faith of our fathers and mothers can be lost. Who holds this fast? In whose hands can we entrust this faith to ensure that our grandchildren and the generations to come will carry on trusting God?

The obvious, and truthful, answer is there in the question. We trust God to hold us and keep us trusting Him. But that doesn’t allow us to be passive while God does all the work.

Our family will never be big. Probably our two grandchildren (aged one and three years) will stride toward the future holding hands, just the two of them, carrying the family history and folklore and faith with them. From our perspective it is a scary country that they are entering, full of dangerous terrain, uncertain and dark valleys, and threatening inhabitants. As grandparents we come from the relative calm of a Christian era, when even those who were not Christian lived by a Christian moral standard. Today we paused and asked ourselves, how do we prepare these little children for that foreign country called The Future?

Fortunately it is not up to us alone, and I believe this is the key. Of course they have believing parents and we must support them in their role to nurture faith in their children. But they also have five Aunties and an Uncle who will model a life of faith to them. We can and must give every effort to ensuring our faith heritage is not lost. We have a holy task as grandfather, grandmother, auntie, uncle, sister, brother, and parent. And as we do this we are obliged to hold each other accountable before God.

There is a future world in need of the Good News of Jesus. And I pray it will hear this Good News from the lips of my grandchildren.

 

 

Categories: Children, christian, Christianity, Faith, Hetty's Devotions, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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