Posts Tagged With: Christianity

Bullies and the Anti-Bully

Posted on April 12, 2025 by Pieter Stok

A friend said to me recently, “you seem to be angry all the time.” He was expressing a concern for my welfare. I acknowledged that he was right. I do have a sense of anger mixed with a large dose of sadness. An acquaintance is being bullied by the elders in her church, the leader of the world’s most powerful nation leads in a way that comes from the classic bully’s handbook. Much of our social discourse is carried on in the language of put downs, abuse, ridicule, mockery and threats – the language of the bully. Examples being given by some leaders suggests to the population as a whole, and our young in particular, that this is an appropriate way to behave.

Bullies use their strength, power, authority and influence to ensure that they get their own way. They are usually supported by a body of sycophants who bow and scrape at the bully‘s commands and do anything to be accepted.

My trust and hope lies in the word that tells me the “meek shall inherit the earth” (Matt 5:5) and the “first shall be last” (Matt 20:16).

The gospel is the ultimate irony. The example of Christ is the complete opposite of that carried on by bullies. He is the anti-bully. He put aside his position as God to become one of us. He served instead of demanding, healed instead of breaking, embraced instead of shunning. Finally he gave his life for others. 

This is not just an example, it is a counter cultural way of life – a counter intuitive existence. 

For Christ followers it is a challenge. I am angry! But Christ calls for a different response to the path that, innately, I want to take.

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Parenting Children for a Life of Faith – Helping Children meet and know God: Rachel Turner, a review

Posted on February 12, 2025 by Pieter Stok

Parenting Children for a Life of Faith – Helping Children meet and know God: Rachel Turner. Bible Reading Fellowship 2018

I am always on the lookout for resources to assist Christian parents in the amazing but terrifying task of discipling their children in faith. The good news is that I have come across two related resources which I can heartily recommend. One is a book and the second is a video series. My strongest encouragement is to get involved with both, but I know (as an ex-English teacher) that there are reluctant readers out there in parent land, so the video series is a minimum!

The Book:

Parenting Children for a life of Faith by Rachel Turner. (This is available from Koorong and Book Depository in an omnibus edition which includes Parenting Children for a Life of Purpose & Parenting Children for a Life of Confidence – (I haven’t yet completely read the latter two).

The Book: Parenting Children for a Life of Faith has the by-line “Helping children meet and know God.” The book includes chapters on modelling a relationship with God and countering wrong views of God. The chapter “Chatting with God” deals with the idea that our relationship is not just meant for set times of reading the Bible or devotions but is an all of life activity. I found this chapter particularly helpful although I would have liked to see a greater emphasis on Bible reading with regard to “hearing” from God. With that quibble aside it is very encouraging. There is also a separate chapter on more “formal” prayer. Another chapter that was very helpful was entitled “Surfing the waves” which is about making the most, as a parent, of the opportunities that arise in the ebb and flow of your child’s spiritual growth.

Other chapters include “Helping children engage with church” and “Starting well with under-fives.”

In part 2 of the omnibus she has a chapter on telling your children the whole gospel story from a young age. She adds examples as to how this can work. This, she suggests, helps children to make sense of the world and its brokenness from a young age. This important idea deserves an article/review just on its own as I found it a good antidote to the, often piecemeal, manner in which the gospel is presented to children.

Overall, I found the content to be practical and Biblical with an abundance of helpful examples. It is a book I wish I had had when I was a younger parent.

The Parenting for Faith Video Course

Rachel Turner also presents a (free) 8 part video course on the same topic. https://www.parentingforfaith.brf.org.uk/ For a sober lad like me her exuberance is sometimes overwhelming, however, putting that aside it is a very valuable resource. There are also downloadable handbooks available to lead you through the course. It is the type of course where it would be very valuable to meet with a few like minded parents and do it together over 8 weeks.

In an era where there are so many “attractions” vying for the heart of your child, here is a book and a video course which can develop your parenting skills in that crucial and eternally relevant arena of faith development. Parents of faith want their children to engage in a life under the Kingship of Jesus from the earliest possible moment.

Pieter Stok

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Internet Worship – Observations

Posted on July 15, 2024 by Pieter Stok

During “lockdown” my wife and I attended a variety of church services around the globe via the internet. For example, we valiantly slogged through 1&2 Samuel with Alistair Begg. Since then, we have regularly visited churches to explore how the family of God is worshipping Him. It is encouraging to see people continuing to encounter and praise God, and give thanks for His son 2000 years after his death and resurrection. There is much to be thankful for.

Saint Pierre Cathedral, Geneva

However, there are a few reflections I wish to make:

It surprises me that many worship services do not have an obvious “Call to Worship” – the idea that it is God who calls his children to gather. A Call to Worship reminds His children that they are responding faithfully to their God and that He is the centre and focus of worship. We are giving Him the “Worth” (from the old English worth-ship) he is due. He commences a dialogue to which we respond with hymns of praise and confession, and prayer. However, too often I see services that commence with “I” songs – songs about our experience and feelings.  These are appropriate in the right place, but they don’t clearly focus our attention upon God. Even the corporate “we” is often missing – the songs indicate a lot of individuals in one place, rather than the family of God.

Another observation is that most services have difficulty incorporating children. Family worship is, if we are truthful, adult worship with a few poorly timed nods at the children, at best. Often, the children are disregarded altogether. All age family worship which includes the sermon, is a hill too high to climb for the vast majority of churches. Children are often hived off to “age appropriate” worship. That children should be taught is not the issue. If worship is the gathering of God’s family before God, then children should be included and involved too. Age and maturity appropriate teaching can occur at other times for every age in the congregation in whatever way you want to dice and slice the congregation.

My third observation is there is often an emphasis on personal salvation but not the Kingdom of God. There is little emphasis on proclaiming, revealing, living in and expecting the Kingdom. The “already” (revealed in Christ)  and “not yet” (not fully realised until his return)  Kingdom seems sadly irrelevant to most preachers. The reason this bothers me is that a lack of Kingdom preaching empowers a continued dualism in Christians. Life is divided between the religious and the secular and we are subtly encouraged to live this schizophrenic life.

If you have encountered churches where these issues have been addressed, I would love to hear about them and “visit” them.

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“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. “

Posted on July 10, 2024 by Pieter Stok

“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been.” William Golding (author of Lord of the Flies.)

A few days ago I posted the above quote on my Facebook page as whimsical nudge at some men who lord their ‘superiority’ over women. As a father of 6 intelligent women of whom 4 are contently unmarried, and the husband of one strong wife, I have learned to see life from a different perspective. As one who was once considered a male chauvinist by his fellow high school students many years ago, I have had a long learning journey.

Conservative churches often highlight the role of the stay-at-home mum caring lovingly for her children and supporting her husband. That is what my wife did in our family, as well as volunteering in arrange of organisations, from church ministries to toy libraries with time that was left over. She strongly believed that was her calling.  I hasten to add that there are many women who would like to do that, but economic necessity has made it more difficult.

But conservative churches haven’t been good at celebrating singleness – particularly single women. The apostle Paul writes about it very approvingly in 1 Corinthians 7. Singleness is a gift that can be used in our Kingdom mission. It enables a focus on God’s calling. However, churches have often found it hard to work with this ‘celebration of singleness’. Male dominated church councils have kept women at arm’s length and have seldom created or developed positions that these women could fill.

My daughters all love and serve the Lord and his kingdom but none do it in the denomination they grew up in. One has been an elder, another is a deacon, still another is committed to Christian education but all this outside their denomination of birth. This is both a cause for happiness and sadness. Happiness because they are serving God, sadness because the church that baptised them has no real place for them.

Yes, we all have equal value in the eyes of God but women who have sought to live by Biblical values and not feminist tropes have had to have a higher standard of grace to withstand apathy and rejection.

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Children in the Church – specifically worship

Posted on September 28, 2023 by Pieter Stok

A few Sundays ago I was sitting in church counting the number of children aged under 14. The conclusion was, in my estimation, that about half the congregation on that Sunday were in that age bracket. A church with so many children is truly blessed. Sadly, the astounding thing was that at no point during the service were they acknowledged, whether in the language and illustrations of the sermon, in the liturgy, in the choice of songs, in the prayers – nowhere was there a place for their young voices, hearts and minds to be included in the worship of God. The adults were acknowledged through all those activities – but the children weren’t. It was as if they didn’t exist.

Sunday worship is to bring communal praise and glory to God, and I would humbly suggest that God desires the worship of children and infants as much as he does of adults. It could be argued that their worship is even more important. Psalm 8:2 declares, “From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise.” It follows that those who lead worship have the responsibility and privilege to enable and empower the worship of children as well. This, I would have thought, should be even more clearly seen in a Covenant community where we acknowledge God’s goodness from one generation to the next.

Some argue that we have children’s Sunday School for that purpose. No doubt, worship occurs there too, but it isn’t the whole community of God coming as one family before Him.

There is a more critical reason to reflect on this. Children need to grow in the wonderful idea that they are part of the family of God and that they are important to God. Too many young people leave the church in their teenage or university years believing that there is no real place for them in church. Including and involving them in worship is one central way to make that leaving more unlikely. Why would one leave a family in which one’s involvement and membership is key to its purpose and function?

To have worship that includes all ages may be difficult and challenging but this is no reason to push it aside. It is a reason to sit down and work together to find rich and genuine ways in which all God’s children, young and old, fit and frail, men and women have a voice in the praise of their God – together.

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From Generation to Generation

Posted on September 6, 2023 by Pieter Stok
From Generation to Generation
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The Status of Preaching

Posted on September 23, 2022 by Pieter Stok

While reading Second Timothy as Paul instructs Timothy from prison to be a staunch and steadfast promoter of the gospel and to “correctly handle the word of truth”, it struck me that many of the examples of preaching that I encounter stand in stark contrast to that injunction. Pop psychology, platitudes, personal views and alternate readings, replace what should be at the heart of preaching – God’s infallible Word.

Even worse, some preachers encourage their hearers to find “their own truth” in the text. This is a very postmodernist approach where we all have our own “truths”. All we need to do is discover it. God’s truth, is secondary to our “truth”.

I found an alternative view in a church in Porvoo, Finland, a number of years ago. As the preacher approached the pulpit, above the door to the pulpit the cleric would have read: 1 Cor 1:21 “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.” And as the preacher left, on the other side, 1 Cor 4:20 “For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.” For me, it highlights the fact of God’s truth is proclaimed through the foolish mouths of humans. However, this Word, as it comes from God, is empowered to change lives and destinies. It doesn’t give us an excuse to replace God’s Word with some fantasy of our own.

Our foolishness, however, does not give us liberty to stray from God’s word. This must always be at the heart of all preaching.

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To Be Near Unto God

Posted on August 15, 2022 by Pieter Stok

I have used this brilliant quote before but it is worth highlighting again. It comes from the introduction to Abraham Kuyper’s delightful collection of devotions: To Be Near Unto God.

Love for God may be fine sentiment. It may be sincere and capable of inspiring holy enthusiasm, while the soul is still a stranger to fellowship with the eternal, and ignorant of the secret walk with God. The great God may still not be your God. Your heart may still not be attuned to the passionate outburst of delight: I love the Lord. For love of God in general is so largely love for the idea of God, love for the Fountain of life, the Source of all good, the Watcher of Israel who never slumbers; in brief, love for him who, whatever else changes, abides the same eternally.

But when the heart can say: I love the Lord, the idea of the Eternal becomes personified. Then God becomes the Shepherd who leads us, the Father who spiritually begat us, the covenant-God to whom we sustain the covenant relation, the Friend who offers us friendship, the Lord whom we serve, the God of our trust, who is no longer merely God, but our God.

Abraham Kuyper, To Be Near Unto God,  Kindle Edition.

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“Everyone Who Loves and Practices Falsehood”

Posted on August 1, 2022 by Pieter Stok

I first wrote this over 10 years ago. Reflecting on it, I thought it was worth reposting.

Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.  Rev 22:14 & 15

Every now and then as I am reading the Bible a phrase or word jumps out at me. It may be something that I hadn’t noticed or reflected on before. In our staff devotions at school Revelation 22 was read and I closed my eyes and listened. I have read or heard this passage on many occasions and reflected on it. However, this time, the phrase “everyone who loves and practices falsehood” made me sit up and take notice.

We live in a world of “spin”. Politicians, companies and celebrities hire “spin’ experts – people to put the “right” perspective on an issue or dilemma. “Spin” is the key to advertising and promotion. I think we could rightly say that “spin” is part of everyday life.

I remember, years ago, attending regular meetings of church leaders and we were called to report on our individual churches. Looking back in hindsight, there was a lot of “spin” happening. Despite issues in the churches, in this public forum we put ourselves in the best light. We do it as individuals as we try to make ourselves look good, knowing all the while, that in reality we are hiding the truth.

A friend once reflected, after a visit to Holland, where one can look into the front rooms of nearly every immaculately presented house, that it reflected his family. The front room, in this case the way his family appeared, was tidy and well kept, but in the back rooms there was chaos anger, lies and pain.

As a culture and society we have become very able practitioners of falsehood. As individuals and churches, we too have been, unthinkingly, drawn into these practices. Why does Jesus include falsehood with idolaters, murderers and sexual morality?

The child of God is the representative of truth. We are called to stand in direct opposition to the enemy, “the father of lies” (John 8:44). John writes “We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood. (1 John4:6)

The Church and the Christian can have no place for “spin” or subterfuge. The world needs to see what truthful lives look like. That also includes honesty when we have mucked things up. Seeking forgiveness is far more constructive (and painful) than spin. The media, quite rightly in my opinion, has highlighted the falsehood of the church. It can only do that when we have not been true to our God of Truth. Rather than blaming the media we should look carefully at ourselves.

For me, this is a tough call. I don’t like being found out. More important though, is my desire to be more like Jesus. The Word tells me that when I know Jesus I “… will know the truth, and the truth will set (me) free.” John 8:32

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For a Time Such as This

Posted on July 14, 2020 by Pieter Stok

How has God been preparing the church, the people of God, for a time such as this? And what hints and leadings has He been giving us to be His active representatives on earth right now?cropped-cropped-isaiah.jpg What opportunities has He created? These are all questions my wife has been challenging me with in recent times. Hetty has written the following.

In 2005 we went to live in the UK for 16 months. I found myself with a lot of time and looked about to find something to become involved with. Our local church put me in touch with Bridgebuilder, an organisation that worked with schools to teach children about the Christian faith.

This appealed to me because for 15 years I had been a volunteer teacher of Christian Religious Education in Australia. Every week I spent 30 minutes in each class, sharing Bible stories, and praying with the students. It was a government legislated privilege to be able to do this.

In the UK things were different. The best Christian churches could hope for was to be invited into schools for a few hours every year. Bridgebuilder developed programmes and presented them to a hundred students at a time. I felt appreciative of our Australian system but knew that there was a lot of opposition building against it in the secular community.

Fast forward 5 years and my fears were being realised. The CRE programme was under attack, the organisation overseeing it was scrambling to adapt to the pressures. If the Government removed its protective legislation how would its mission to school children continue?

This was the moment that I thought back to my time in the UK. Could God have given me this experience so that I could now see a way forward in my local situation? Had He been equipping me for a future I didn’t yet know?

Today the universal Church is part of a universal crisis. Alongside health, economics, education, transport, employment, and a hundred other areas of human life, the Church is wondering how it will survive in a Covid 19 world and how it can keep being Christ to that world.

Many Christians and churches are trying to tweak what we’ve always done – drive thru communion, services in the car park while parishioners stay in their cars, and the like. Generally we are hunkering down and looking after our own flock. Missions means going ‘out there’, but we’re being told to stay at home.

But my thought is that God has been preparing His people for a Covid 19 world. What He was doing in your life ten years ago, or five years ago, or last year, was ‘the equipping of the saints’. Cast your mind back.

Look around your immediate vicinity. What appearance does this new world have? How has it changed? Then go back to our marching orders. What is a Christian’s primary mission, and what equipment and training have we been given by God to carry it out?

One example is the scandal of child abuse that has rocked the Church. The Church has become a stench to the world, and often it is trying to make excuses for the actions of its own people, desperately trying to salvage its reputation. I cringe whenever this issue is raised. I want to hide in shame.

So how should we view the sequence of events in our time with the idea that God is using them to equip us? And how do we move forward into the future with this massive millstone around the neck of the Church?

I believe God can and will advance His kingdom in spite of the wickedness of mankind. Abusive churchmen and women cannot thwart His plans. Perhaps the Church needs to fall on its knees, confess, repent, and seek forgiveness from those it has harmed. Never seeking a lenient sentence, but accepting judgement, and giving all it owns (every last gold goblet!) in restitution and compensation. A broken and contrite heart. Personally, I am waiting for the leaders of our churches to start this process.

Then we can be used by God to …

 

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