Posts Tagged With: family

The Church, The Industrial Revolution and The Family

Posted on November 17, 2012 by Pieter Stok

What do the three things above have to do with each other? A lot it seems.

Have you noticed that the body of Christ in many, particularly larger churches, has morphed into a series of “departments”: children’s, youth, men’s, women’s, singles and etc. Sadly this is also, too often, reflected in worship services. Children have their own “Children’s Church”, youth have theirs and so on.

I am told that many modern parents don’t want to be annoyed by their children in church.

To be honest, this is a tragic state of affairs and the church can only be poorer for it. The church should be the epitome of an integrated, mutually dependent body, functioning for each other’s good and promoting the Kingdom as one in the world – not a loose connection of independent limbs.

Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times

The industrial model may work well on assembly lines but not the church. The older members need to be reminded of the calling they have to nurture the young through word and example. The young remind the older members of the wonder and naïveté of faith. We need each other. We weren’t meant to be separated – just as a family is not meant to be compartmentalised.

Of course there are times when separate activities are sound and worthwhile, but this shouldn’t characterise the church. To have integrated worship services and activities can be difficult. It requires us to think carefully about the needs of each member and their relationship to the whole. But isn’t that the very challenge that makes it worthwhile! And finally, how many Sunday Schools, Youth services, and specialist departments can you find in the New Testament. I could only find one, the Deacons.

Categories: christian, Christianity, Church, Devotional, Faith, Family, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

50 Things We Learnt …

Posted on October 5, 2012 by Pieter Stok

50 Things We Learnt From Our Father

One of my favourite possessions is a framed poster made by two of my daughters when I turned 50 … that is, a long time ago. This poster has hung in my study ever since. They called it, “50 Things We Learnt From Our Father.” It contains a whole range of ideas from the humorous to the serious. Some of the lessons came from their own experience and some are dated. An example, “Don’t dance near the record player.”

My favourites include:

  • “You can’t have enough of a good cheese”
  • “Horizontal and vertical stripes do go together” (A dig a their father’s lack of fashion sense)
  • “How to make toasted cheese sandwiches”
  • “Breadboards make the best plates”
  • “All meals can be prepared … and eaten, with a frying pan and a fork”
  • “There is always room for another book in your collection”
  • “Anything can be turned into a sermon illustration”

But there are others which are more serious:

  • “Girls can do anything”
  • “Don’t be afraid to try something new”
  • “Lookout for your sisters”

My favourites, which bring a lump to my throat are:

  • The joy of living for Christ”
  • Faith in the Living God”

Family life is a treasure of the big and small, the mundane and spectacular. All of it is a wonderful stage to grow a family. If you are starting out with your children remember that everything you do is being observed, from your fashion sense to your faith!

 

Categories: christian, Christianity, Devotional, Faith, Family | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

The Light of Christ

Posted on September 30, 2012 by Pieter Stok

When we travel we like to listen to our favourite music. Having been on the road for the last week we listened to a lot of music. Michael Card is one singer/song writer whose songs we both like.

In the song, “For F.F.B.” he sings of his grandfather with the words, “In you I learned the kind of faith that looked up to the mountains. In you I saw just what I’d like to be. Oh, Grandad, I wish you could be here to tell me what to do, ‘cause I first saw the light of Christ through you.”

The phrase, “‘cause I first saw the light of Christ through you” made me think of those who first allowed me to see the light of Christ. When we were impressionable children who were those people through whom Christ shone? Parents? Grandparents? Family? Friends?

This is such a profoundly important concept, than for no other reason than the eternal faith of our children, our aim as adults should be to grow in Christlikeness.

Just after our fist child was conceived we received a visit from our pastor who reminded us that a child is conceived into an eternity of heaven or hell. Very blunt! But his point was simple, nothing is more important than the faith of our children and as parents we must do everything we can to prepare our children for an eternity with God. Or in Michael Card’s words to allow our children to see “the light of Christ through” us.

Categories: christian, Devotional, Faith, Family, Reflections | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

The Simpler Life … continued

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Pieter Stok

Some of my recent posts have stirred up more old memories. They made me think about how we entertained ourselves as children in the 1950s and early 60s. Here are a few of things that I remember doing:

Courtesy: Google Images

My dad was a green grocer with a huge stack of fruit boxes. These could be constructed into the most wonderful cubby houses – in fact they became a cubby city with tunnels and streets. I remember doing a similar things in a haystack on a farm I visited regularly. Many Saturday and summer hours were whiled away here.

When I was 10 or 11 I constructed my first crystal set to pick 3GL the Geelong station. Construction was a regular pastime – model “Airfix” planes which I would hang from my bedroom ceiling, and later balsa and paper planes powered by tiny 2.5 cc motors and guided by control wires.

Walking the streets of our town was never an issue – even at night. People looked out for each other and their children. In fact, if I did do something naughty it would usually get back to my parents. We would take walks along the beach collecting cuttlefish and other “treasures” or tramp through the bush behind our town known as Cuthbertsons. If we were sick of walking there were always bike rides to neighbouring towns.

Courtesy: Google Images

On a couple of occasions we went to the local airstrip to look at the planes and on at least two occasions we went up for a gratis joy ride. I can’t imagine that happening today without eyebrows being raised – to say the least.

Camping at a friends farm, playing sports at the local football and tennis clubs, playing cricket and football on the unpaved street, “cowboys and Indians” in the scrub, marbles, swapping comics, playing with a chemistry set (do you remember Ron?)… are just a few more of the things that come to mind.

Finally, as we didn’t have a TV set until I was in my mid teens, I spent some time in the evening listening to the serials on the radio or crystal set. Biggles, Dad and Dave, No Holiday for Halliday are just a few I remember.

What do you remember doing as a child in the “olden days”?

Categories: Family, Reflections | Tags: | 2 Comments

Father’s Day

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Pieter Stok

It was Father’s Day yesterday so I did some quick reckoning. I have been a father for about 190 years. In the next year or so I will turn 200 years of father.

There have been tough moments: serious illnesses, parenting decisions, allowing the child out with the car for the first time by themselves, the odd quarrel and so forth. There was the immense grief on the death of a child tempered by the joy that God loved him more than we did. It has been tough financially: schooling, clothing and feeding. We made the decision early that my wife would be a stay at home mum. Our thinking was that the family was more important than money. I realise that not everybody is in a position to make that decision in this era. But most of all those 190 years have been a delight.

Watching children grow into their gifts, talents and character is an amazing revelation of God’s creation. Here are six human beings that all add a different and unique perspective on life.

So I thought, how does Father God look at us? The sorrow of our sin and the joy of our faith and love must move His heart with emotions that are beyond our imagination. As His family grows in a vision of the Kingdom His fatherly pride must also grow.

As dads, we have the privilege of reflecting, in a tiny way, an aspect of the character of God. So my challenge to myself and other dads is to grow in being Godly. When our kids look at us they should get a glimpse of the fatherhood of God. Now that is a challenge!

Categories: christian, Christianity, Devotional, Faith, Family, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Family Memories

Posted on August 28, 2012 by Pieter Stok

Minifigs invade the Eiffel Tower

What are your favourite family memories and traditions? Was it a particular Christmas, a trip, a visit by someone special, a particular meal your mum cooked, a tradition your family has – what were they? These moments that warm our heart whenever we think of them are special. A sight, smell or word can often, quite spontaneously, take us back to a time and place.

Positive memories are part of our emotional health. They remind us of important connections, people and values. They anchor us in a family and history. I recognise that some readers don’t have these and I find that incredibly sad. That is all the more reason to build these into our own families.

Muesli and Hot Milk

Our, now grown-up, children often reflect on events and activities from the past that are important to them. Some of these my wife and I planned and others happened by accident. Having pizza on Christmas Eve in which everyone pitched in, just happened. This tradition was so important that even when my wife and I were living in a tiny flat in England, and all the girls came over for a visit, we still had to have pizza on Christmas Eve – or as close to it as possible.

Grover at Conwy Castle

Having an all girl family (apart from me) meant that particular stuffed toys and dolls gained a life all of their own. To this day questions about Muesli, Jessica, Grover and Fiona’s welfare pepper the conversation as though they are real – which, of course, they are!

The camping trips to Canberra and Woodgate, the building of Lego cities and towns and making “continental” s’mores (using Speculaas biscuits and Lindt chocolate instead of Graham crackers and Hershey bars) either around an open fire or over tea lights, are just a few more memories and traditions that I am certain will continue through the generations.

So what memories do you have and what memories are you building? In a fleeting and uncertain world they are more important than you think.

Categories: Devotional, Family, Reflections | Tags: , | 4 Comments

The Death of Innocence

Posted on August 15, 2012 by Pieter Stok

Lately I have been exploring the “calling”, “vocation” or “office” of children, that is, the the role they have in the plans of God and His people. We know they need to be disciplined and taught but children also have a role in reminding us of faith, trust and wonder – among other things.

Our society in recent generations has been destroying that naivety. Our children are becoming old before their time. As I write this a local retail chain is being criticised for selling “tramp” or “hooker” style clothes for young girls. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

The challenge for Christian homes is to allow children to grow up at a pace that is wise, healthy and godly. This pace allows the child to comprehend faith with a sense of wonder and certainty without the cynicism and crassness of the world cascading in. I know the early years of family life with young children can be tense and busy, but take time to allow your children to be in awe of God and to explore faith in a positive environment.

I know we can’t hold the world’s ideas back from our homes, but we can use those crucial early years to prepare our children for the onslaught.

Categories: Child Theology, christian, Christianity, Church, Devotional, Faith, Family | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Nostalgia Isn’t What It Used To Be

Posted on August 7, 2012 by Pieter Stok

Opa and the bakery cart

I know I have stolen the title above but it caused me to reflect on my father. For a while my dad was an itinerant hawker selling fruit and vegetables from home to home,  around Ocean Grove and Geelong. There was a tradition in my family of this type of work. A grandfather and a great grandfather had done the same. In fact it was an age of home delivery. The baker, butcher, iceman, milkman and even the draper came in vans on a regular basis. I remember the Rawleigh man coming with his suitcase of lotions and potions. The memories of hearing the milkman’s horse clip clopping past the house in the early morning and chasing the iceman for a piece of ice on a hot dusty day in summer, is still strong.

Slowly these mobile salesmen (I don’t remember ever seeing a woman do this) have faded into the past. Supermarkets and cars led to their demise.  Nothing ever stays the same. Today we are seeing a modern version: Internet sales. The sales people are in our homes and what we want is delivered to our doors. I have to confess that a lot of my purchases are now delivered by my “Pay” pal.

Yet I still miss riding in the back of my dad’s truck during the holidays “helping” him on his rounds and meeting his amazing variety of customers; migrants from all parts of Europe, a WW1 gas attack survivor, and a seaman who had clung to a table when the Titanic sank.  My dad being a gregarious man elicited amazing stories from these, now long gone, people. And I miss the smell of fresh bread wafting from the back of the baker’s van. Horses and carts on the street, even a few, seemed to have a way of slowing life down to a more reasonable pace.

The internet is helpful and efficient. Its range is enormous. But give me the hawkers and the colour and life they brought from house to house. I can’t imagine my children ever being nostalgic about a mouse click on an internet sales site.

Categories: Family, History, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 3 Comments

What the Future Holds

Posted on August 2, 2012 by Pieter Stok

A few days ago when I was writing about the joy of family life I included a photo of my grandparents, my mother, an aunt and two uncles, taken in the late 1920s. Later as I reflected on that picture I thought to myself that my grandparents had no idea of what lay before them at this time.

Soon after this photo was taken the world would be gripped by the Great Depression (The Global Financial Crisis on steroids) and then would come the second Great War. They had lived through the first as children. Two of the children in this photo would emigrate:  one to Australia, and later, one to Canada. The daughter (my mum) travelling to Australia would take the only grandchild (me) they would ever see.

One of the uncles in the photo would die of starvation in a home for people with special needs during the later years of WW2. This period was known as the “hunger winter”. My grandfather was incapacitated by heart problems and both grandparents would be dead before 60 years of age.

They did not know what the future would bring. One of my uncles, who was born just after this photo was taken,  often reminds me that it was a tough time. But for all the seeming bleakness of this story there is a bright shaft of hope. These amazing people left a legacy of faith in their family. Despite the hardships there was a trust in God and His promises for His people and His Kingdom. They were faithful in bringing their children up in the knowledge of God and were members of a church.

Even though they had no idea of what the future would bring, they prepared their family as best they could, for it. All the people in this photo are now dead. Earlier this year my mum was the last to pass on. But I am convinced that they live on in the presence of God right now and their faith lives on in many of their children and children’s children.

We do not know the future either, but like my grandparents we do have the opportunity to sow seeds of hope and eternity.

But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children —
with those who keep his covenant 
and remember to obey his precepts. Psalm 103: 17 & 18

Categories: christian, Christianity, Faith, Family, Future, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

Family – The Simple Joys

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Pieter Stok

Yesterday, to celebrate my birthday, we had a family day. Most of the family were able to get together and we did a host of simple things. The day started with an old family tradition in which the “birthday-ee” gets his or her presents in bed. After breakfast we went for a walk along the coast, then we had a picnic in the bracing air of a seaside town and in the afternoon I built Lego and some baked or read. In the evening we had a family meal, watched old super 8 family movies and finished off with a telephone call to an overseas family member and watching “Cool Runnings”.

It was a simple day. But the joy of having family together and enjoying each other’s presence was fantastic.

So I weep when I see families pulling each other apart or living in each other’s company with constant tension or anger. Families are intended to be places of refuge, comfort, support and encouragement. They are places where warm memories can be shared and enjoyed.

My constant plea with young couples is that they work together on the purpose of their family. Sure, there will be tensions and moments of anger, however, encourage each other with a picture of what the family can be and should be. If you are struggling, seek wise mentors – people whose marriage has blossomed in time and one you would like to emulate. Ask them for their secret for success.

Work at your family as a team. As I was reminded yesterday, it is such a precious treasure.

Categories: Christianity, Church, Devotional, Faith, Family | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.