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Early on a Sunday morning

Posted on September 22, 2013 by Pieter Stok

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It is early on a Sunday morning and I am listening to a cd of old hymns.

There are many Christians who wouldn’t know a classic old hymn if they fell over it. The churches they attend only play the current contemporary songs – some which are wonderful but many are formulaic, and the worst are the “Jesus is my Boyfriend” type which only requires a slight tweak to become a contemporary secular song.

What do we lose by not singing historical hymns?

1. We lose the history of the church. We relegate the great movements in the church to the dust pile. The medieval hymn “O sacred head now wounded”, possibly written by Bernard of Clairvaux, is an insight into the heart and soul of our medieval brothers and sisters as they contemplated and reflected on the death of their/our saviour. In the Geneva of the Reformation a passion…

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I remember …

Posted on September 19, 2013 by Pieter Stok

I remember
long unencumbered summers,
endless warm winded days at the beach,
surfing, swimming, sun-baking and surfing again,
furtively playing cards to the small hours,
walking home and the street lights turning off  at midnight.

I remember
scrambling along the river,
through mangroves and reeds,
finding signs of past boats fading in the mud,
sailing my own sabot – not too successfully!

I remember
treks into the bush,
sneaking out early with a friend,
parents unaware,
exploring in the early dawn
and yabbying with string and morsels of meat.

I remember ...

I remember …

I remember
cycling far afield
to other towns and places,
with lunch and possibilities
firmly tied on.

I remember
when worries were small
and life was big,
when dreams were limitless
and “no” un-thought of.

I remember
being young
but as they say,
‘that was another country’
and yet
… it still whispers to me.

Categories: Children, Family, Poem, poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Memories That Shape

Posted on September 3, 2013 by Pieter Stok

Two days ago I posted a poem my wife wrote about the death of her father 50 years ago when she was only seven. Her two sisters were nine and two years of age.

Last Sunday was the anniversary of her last “Fathers’ Day” with her dad and today is the anniversary of his death.

Hetty's Family048

My wife (right), her sisters and their Papa … and the puss.

Fifty years later the events of this day are still firmly embedded in her mind. The events, the emotions and the memories have remained clear all these years.

Dad’s are such a critical presence in a child’s life. Even an absent dad.

The girls grew up with a mythology of what having a dad would have been like. Our first argument after we were married was about who would take the rubbish bin out. In my wife’s mind this was the job her father would have done for his wife if he had been alive. I lost the argument – and most others since.

In many ways my wife’s memories of seven years are just as powerful as my memories of my father over 44 years. Her memories of family walks, dad coming home after work, meal times, stories and the like are etched so clearly and deeply – reinforced by years of remembered loss.

Not all the memories, we have discovered over time, were accurate. Because there was a tool box in the house didn’t mean that he was a brilliant handyman. That is what my wife thought and that is the image that she compared me with. She found out many years after we were married that this was far from the truth. This took some of the burden off me!

Warm memories are like treasures which we nurture and protect. We can take them out of the box every now and then to admire and to reminisce. They give perspective and depth to our lives and take us out of our present and anchor us in our past.

Categories: Children, Family, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

A Skyped Voice

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Pieter Stok

A Skyped voice,
An Apple Message,
An Instagram photo
or even
a good old email,
is no replacement
for eyes meeting,
a tender touch
and a warm hug.

Categories: Poem, poetry, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

When We Didn’t Find a Camp Ground in Time

Posted on August 6, 2013 by Pieter Stok

A while back I wrote about our favourite camping places. There have been times when we didn’t get to a camping place in time and we had to resort to sleeping in the car. Here are our non camping places.

1. In 2003 we arrived at our camping place in the Champagne region of France far too late. The gates were closed and the lights off. So we drove down a country lane and parked close to the grape vines. Trying to sleep in a Skoda Fabia is not an ideal way to spend a night. But at least were in a great part of France!

A Opel Mariva in Provence. Not an ideal car for sleeping in!

An Opel Mariva in Provence. Not an ideal car for sleeping in!

2. On the same trip we arrived late on the outskirts of Verona after crossing the Appennines in Winter. We stopped in an industrial car-park. Still in the Fabia we tried to sleep, my wife on the back seat and me in the front. I was kept awake by a series of furtive and clandestine exchanges made between trucks. Then a well dressed lady arrived at 2am in a BMW and left in a Mercedes.  She returned an hour later and also had me guessing.

3. Previously  I mentioned the brilliant camping places in Norway. The truck stop outside Drammen is not one of them. The Volvo S60 was more comfortable than the Fabia but it was still a car. Then again, the continuous heavy rain made the car more preferable to the tent.

4. Coming back from Germany one evening in the pouring rain we parked at a
truck stop just outside Venlo. This is not one of recommendations either.

5.  The final overnight stop occurred when we dropped of our daughter in Geneva so she could catch a train to Zurich. We were dead tired as we had already survived a blizzard while driving over the mountains towards Grenoble. That was a harrowing drive with the fog and snow, and quite a few vehicles involved in accidents. We couldn’t stop as there was nowhere, we could see, to leave the road. So finally we arrived at a hotel just outside Geneva without a booking. We were informed that the minimum stay was three nights and the total cost would be well over 600 Euro – and we only wanted to stay one night! I was that tired I couldn’t drive safely any further. So we parked in front of the hotel which was part of a shopping centre and saved 600 Euro.

So just as there are some spectacular places to camp, every now and then, the car has to be the last resort – the very last resort!

Categories: Camping, Reflections, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Grover in Paris

Posted on August 4, 2013 by Pieter Stok

As I reported recently, my usual travelling companion is jet setting without me. He reports from Paris that, being summer, the place is overrun with tourists which makes it tough for a little blue muppet. Not only that, the French, who abhor English, make no effort at all to comprehend a little blue muppet. He was pleased however to get to see the world’s largest Mecanno construction. He also wonders if the Poles will be more forthcoming.

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The Blemish Removing Mirror

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Pieter Stok

“… and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” 1 John 3:2

Most mirrors
are all too truthful
revealing every spot,
scar and blemish,
wrinkle and faded hope.

We squint,
cover our eyes
because the truth hurts –
aches our unworthiness.

Wincing, we turn away,
vowing inside
to run and hide
hoping that
the surrounding chaos
will hide us –
make us invisible
from the speculum’s
relentless
and enervating scrutiny.

But then …

“I am” came
and shattered
our refections
and replaced
our haunted image
with his own.

Categories: christian, Christianity, Faith, Poem, poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Dark Side of the Church

Posted on August 1, 2013 by Pieter Stok

Very recently I asked for readers to respond to a query I had about how people remember church when they were children (https://pieterstok.com/2013/07/13/your-experience-of-church-as-a-child/). I am still keen on hearing your responses.

One thing I didn’t expect (maybe I should have), was the number of private emails I have received from people recalling the abuse they received. This abuse sometimes arose because church authorities deliberately turned away from events in their families and congregation, or was perpetrated by them. This abuse ranged from spiritual and emotional neglect through to the more sordid examples we see in the news on a daily basis

20120411-214403.jpgIt reminded me that in my years as a pastor I came across too many examples of events that had never been dealt with properly. The “lets sweep it under the carpet” syndrome was all too prevalent. In an effort to protect the church’s reputation we have mired it more deeply in hidden and unconfessed sin and with no real thought for the victims.

Jesus weeps at the sins of His people but the tears must be even greater when these atrocities touch the innocent and vulnerable who are largely made up of women and children.

So far I have seen two main results of this hidden abuse revealed in the emails. Some people turn their back on the church and faith and want nothing to do with either. This is a tragedy of eternal proportions. The other result is those people who, usually through a Christlike mentor or partner, have, at some future occasion, dealt with the abuse and have come out the other side with a stronger faith and a greater awareness of God’s love for them. This is miraculous!

These emails have convinced me that the issue of children in the church is a crucial issue at so many different levels. What do we do to protect them? How do we make them feel that they belong? What is their role in the church and what can we learn from them? These are just some of the questions!

And from you dear readers, I would still love to hear what you have to say.

Categories: Children, christian, Christianity, Church, Ethics, Faith, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Vulnerable

Posted on July 30, 2013 by Pieter Stok

They are open
and innocent,
eager to please,
the vulnerable.

They have no muscles
or wiles
to parry attacks,
the vulnerable.

They listen
and imbibe our words
ideas and values,
the vulnerable.

They mirror
our thoughts,
play act our actions,
the vulnerable.

They grow up
and shape, mould
and, too often, warp
the next generation of
the vulnerable.

Categories: Children, christian, Christianity, Faith, Family, Poem, poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Children and Church – Thank You, but More Please!

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Pieter Stok

Statue in StockholmI must extend a big thank you to all of you who have responded to my request for childhood memories of church. (The original post here which includes an email address). One thing your responses have already done is widen my thinking and planning. I have received some emails regarding various kinds abuse upon which I have to reflect deeply. Some of you have commented on excitement and others sheer boredom. Overall, however, I get the strong impression that for many, if not most, children were incidental to church life. This collection has only just begun so I continue to encourage readers to comment and to ask friends to comment

Please keep your memories and reflections coming.

Categories: Bible, Child Theology, Children, christian, Church, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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