To crush a head
Unusual Figure: St. Mary Magdalen, Geddington, UK
or bruise a heel:
There is a world of difference.
It is to die or live.
The Promise died then lived
… and lives.
The cursed lives,
on borrowed time for a moment,
as his fate was sealed
on a cross so long ago,
to die.
The Promise would be born
of a woman inflicted
with the pain of child birth.
The daughter of Eve
would deliver the
head crusher
and soul healer.
For every couple those pressure points will be different. Their personalities, character traits and circumstances will mean unique pressures on their marriage. Here are some that I struggled with.
1. Having a large family, money and unemployment were issues on occasions. In my early 30s I was studying and working part-time jobs. We had three young children. Money and time were scarce. As a husband and father I had to ensure there was time for my wife and children. In the balancing act that didn’t always happen the way it should. The consequences were tensions and anger. Sadly, while studying Christology I was not always Christ like!
2. Working in people intensive vocations like teaching and the pastoral ministry, this has sometimes led to the family coming second best. Being a “people pleaser” I had the ironic tendency to neglect the people closest to me. On one occasion my wife phoned to tell me that someone needed to speak to me. At the appointed time, she marched in. Before I could protest, my wife reminded me that if it had been anyone else I would have dropped everything and listened. So I listened, and she told me a story of a husband who was never available for his wife and kids and worked all hours. Now if I get too involved in work she says, “Can I make an appointment?” I get the message. Happily, that has occurred less frequently in more recent times. I do learn – slowly.
3. Another area of tension has been immaturity and selfishness- usually mine. This is when we want to get our own way on the issue. Sometimes the issue even slides into the background and it becomes a power struggle between two human beings. Unedifying to all concerned and especially to any children who happen to be watching.
The solutions nearly sound cliched – prayer and devotions. Committing time to each other and communication, communication and communication. Having regular set parts of the day where you find time to talk together is crucial. I know it is easier said than done but it is so important.
Sometimes is it is good to remind yourselves what brought you together in the first place: The faith, shared values, interests and passions. Also the older I get I realise that there is one special person with whom I share so many memories – memories that only the two of us share. That is precious and worth protecting.
Most of all we share a journey with God. He is the third strand (Eccl 4:12). If there were times when we were weak, we had to rely on Him even more. So even when we let each other down He has never let us down.
There is a scene in the Martin Sheen film “The Way” in which he starts his pilgrimage to honour his dead son. He leaves the Alburgue (hostel) turns left and commences his walk. The camera remains focussed on the door. A few seconds later we see a group of pilgrims walking past the door going in the opposite direction. A few seconds later again, a humbled Sheen, follows behind.My wife and I laughed out loud when we first saw this scene because we had made exactly the same mistake on the first morning of our pilgrimage. In the dark, early in the morning we confidently set off only to meet pilgrims walking in the opposite direction. Sheepishly, we too had to turn around. We felt smug 20 minutes later when we met a group in the morning gloom heading towards us and we had the opportunity to correct their mistake. Naturally we didn’t tell them about our own error.
This little tale is crammed with our humanity: wrong decisions, damaged pride, needing to correct ourselves and so on.
What if we hadn’t turned around? Obviously we wouldn’t have reached our destination or reached our goals. It made perfect common sense to turn around and learn from our error. As the aphorism declares, “The problem with common sense is that it is not common.” As a society we don’t learn from the past or the mistakes of others. An area that is of great concern is the flippant attitude toward sexuality and marriage that is rampant today. Rather than being treated like hugely precious gifts that need to be nurtured and protected, we treat them as cheap trinkets that can tossed aside without thought. We can add to that, the recent notion of children as designer accessories rather than human beings born into eternity – either of heaven or hell. ( A topic for another day).
We complain about the fragmentation of society, increased levels or violence, drug addiction, depression, family breakdown, delinquency and etc. but we refuse to reflect on the basic building block of society – the family. The family is where socialisation is developed, security is found, values built and character shaped. When the family crumbles society falls too. We try to compensate with more laws and police but this is only a stop gap answer at best.
What is needed is a Biblical view of the family or at a minimum, the recognition that the family needs to be protected and nurtured. It is time for us to realise that the moment has come to turn around, as daily, we are striding away from where we should be going.
What do the three things above have to do with each other? A lot it seems.
Have you noticed that the body of Christ in many, particularly larger churches, has morphed into a series of “departments”: children’s, youth, men’s, women’s, singles and etc. Sadly this is also, too often, reflected in worship services. Children have their own “Children’s Church”, youth have theirs and so on.
I am told that many modern parents don’t want to be annoyed by their children in church.
To be honest, this is a tragic state of affairs and the church can only be poorer for it. The church should be the epitome of an integrated, mutually dependent body, functioning for each other’s good and promoting the Kingdom as one in the world – not a loose connection of independent limbs.
Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times
The industrial model may work well on assembly lines but not the church. The older members need to be reminded of the calling they have to nurture the young through word and example. The young remind the older members of the wonder and naïveté of faith. We need each other. We weren’t meant to be separated – just as a family is not meant to be compartmentalised.
Of course there are times when separate activities are sound and worthwhile, but this shouldn’t characterise the church. To have integrated worship services and activities can be difficult. It requires us to think carefully about the needs of each member and their relationship to the whole. But isn’t that the very challenge that makes it worthwhile! And finally, how many Sunday Schools, Youth services, and specialist departments can you find in the New Testament. I could only find one, the Deacons.
Keldby Church, Denmark
Before anybody gets me wrong, a caveat: I am really pleased we have the written Word of God available to us daily!
Now to my point. Universal literacy is a relatively modern occurrence. Going further back to the period covered by the Old Testament, the stories, history, laws and commandments were carried by word of mouth from generation to generation.
In medieval times church attenders were often reminded of the stories through pictures on the wall or windows. I love the naive pictures on the walls and ceilings of village churches in Europe – particularly Scandinavia. Without books and literacy there is the need to know and remember the stories in order to pass them on. For that to happen, the stories need to be an integral part of the person so he or she can share them with children and others.
Is it possible that we have become lazy because we have the Bible in a book, on a shelf which can be readily accessed. We have concordances (even easier now with computers) which help us look up a word, text, passage or name in an instant.
Keldby Church, Denmark
How do we encourage each other to know the Word of God deeply and to eschew our C21st habit of using Scripture as we do a fast food outlet – quickly and superficially?
I have observed some good programs and apps that encourage memorising the Bible. I have also heard of friends who challenge each other to memorise a chapter or book of Scripture
One of my favourite memories is of an old lady dying of cancer and she was nearly blind. She only spoke Dutch. So, as a keen young pastor I would practise a Psalm in Dutch. When I read the Psalm to her in my halting Dutch she would continue from her memory and get to the end before I could. Over a number of months I tried to catch her out with a Psalm she didn’t remember. She never failed. She had learned all the Psalms as a small girl on a barge that plied the canals of Europe 100 years ago. She had very little schooling, but the Word of God was in her heart and mind.
Would we be able to call on our memory to recite God’s Words to ourselves in a time of need?
Two friends in Gwennap Pit in 2006
Just imagine crowds numbering into thousands in this pit with John Wesley at the centre declaring the gospel; Tin miners and their families gathering to taste the Word of God!
Gwennap Pit, in Cornwall, was created by mine subsidence in the mid C18th. It was then used as an amphitheatre by people such as John Wesley during the revival at that time – sometimes called the Methodist revival.
The pit is a visual reminder of how Dissenters had to use any suitable place to preach, such as a field, barn or mine subsidence, because churches were closed to them.
Fountains Abbey
Two places that always rekindle that desire are the Cistercian abbeys of Rievaulx and Fountains. Both are in sublime locations in North Yorkshire, UK. and enough remains (despite the efforts of King Henry VIIIth) to give us big clues as to their daily life and activities. But in the end we can only make well considered deductions from the ruins, archaeology and historical documents.
How great it would be if you could go back to these places when they were at their peak!
We tend to look at history through the lens of our culture and its values. We weigh things up with our 21st century mindset. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could ask the monks what their hopes, fears, dreams, motivations and aspirations were. What was it really like living in these remote and secluded places? How did they see God and His impact on their lives? What did they hope to achieve and … what was it like to pray for hours on end in a frozen Yorkshire winter?
Rievaulx Abbey
Nobody will ever wonder about our generation. We have written, blogged and videoed all our angsts and desires – ad nauseum. But these people can only be seen through the fogs and shadows of time. We can know them – but only just.
In the meantime, for me, these old abbeys exude a mystery and allure that keeps me fascinated.
The discordant output of
youthful recorder players
wafts in through the open windows;
Students busily tapping keyboards
and scratching pens on paper;
Older students regretting the wasted evenings;
Others rushing to teachers’ offices
in a last minute flurry;
Teachers with stress lines etched like road maps
on their tired faces;
Tolerance rubbed thin
by demands and expectations
exams and essays;
The sun’s warmth beckons
for Summer to come quickly,
but the “to do” list is too long to notice
its invitation …
It must be “Report Writing Time”!
My wife has alopecia. As she also suffers from eczema, wearing a wig is problematic. So as an alternative she wears a bandana. This has interesting consequences. Some people come up to me secretively to ask if she has cancer. When she meets bikers in the street she gets a knowing wink.
A bandana means different things to different people: cancer sufferer, biker’s mole or gypsy fortune teller. In my wife’s case it means alopecia sufferer.
For me it is a reminder that people are not stereotypes or clones. In the words of Psalm 139 we are all unique and individual.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalm 139:13 & 14
Before we judge some one or think we know “who they are”, let us take time to really know them. We might be surprised – even pleasantly!
Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Matthew 9:37
The LORD is slow to anger but great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet. Nahum 1:3
The Harvest and the Storm
The picture, above, was taken near Mysen in Norway. It has an eerie quality. The other day I realised why it was eerie. There is a crop of wheat ready to be harvested and in the background a storm is approaching. At harvest time a storm doesn’t delight the farmer.
But there is deeper symbolism in the photo. There is a reminder of the Christians’s task to share and spread the “good news”. However, every day we hesitate or delay, is a day closer to the return of the Saviour/Judge – Jesus.
This photo is my personal challenge to myself: “How serious am I about the Kingdom?
Travels from Ur 