Family

If the Laissez faire is foolish and the Fortress method only temporary, how do we prepare our children for a life of Christian faith that can withstand the arguments and abuse that will certainly come.

Let me begin by saying, if one believes that Scripture is the Word of God and that the Holy Spirit is real and that God’s promises are true then there is no reason to be fearful. Too often however, I have seen parenting that is driven by fear – fear of the world and its myriad dangers.

From an early age, starting with Children’s Bibles, teach the truth as the Bible presents it. (The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes by Kenneth Taylor is a classic in this area). Do this daily, whether at the meal table or bedtime. And pray regularly. As the children grow, so must the sophistication of the stories and the discussion. Bible knowledge is the bedrock from which we defend our faith. Memorising stories and verses become essential tools for the future.

Knowing the overarching story of Scripture with the centrality of the promised Christ in the Old Testament and his arrival in the New will protect them from seeing Scripture as a mere set of moral rules. As our children grow older they discover that the Bible is presenting an image of a Kingdom that has come in Christ and will be completely revealed with his return. They need a picture of eternity and the relationship of our earthly pilgrimage to it.

I could say so much more about this but I think you get the drift. Our children need to be seeped in knowledge AND in understanding. They need to understand the uniqueness of the faith. Critically, they also need to know that God has created them for a purpose in His kingdom, both now and forever.

So where do other faiths come in? Don’t major on minors. What are the predominant counter Christian worldviews today? What do people believe? What motivates the lives of people? What dominant values does the media portray? How is Christianity distinctive from these views?

To understand these motivations is to know where Christianity differs. What are the logical outcomes of these “faiths”? E.g. If we are simply the product of evolution how does that affect our value as humans? How does this contrast with being a child of God? And what about faiths that demand we earn our salvation? What does that reveal about their view of sin and how does that match up with the Christian concept of Grace?

Finally, as parents we need to model a genuine Christian life where our words and actions, choices and views are shaped by our faith. Our children need to see us talking with God and studying His word. Our children need to see that our lives are not lived out of custom and superstition but out of a living relationship.

Is this a guarantee. No. Ultimately our children will need to make choices of their own. But if you hearken back to Prov 22:6,(see: A Scary Verse)  the principle is that if we set the foundations of faith the likelihood of straying will be greatly reduced.

Yesterday I wrote about the confusing “world of faiths” that has developed in Western countries over the last few generations. It is this faith supermarket that our children enter. I didn’t even mention celebrities and Scientology, or the crazy “God will make you rich” fringe of the Christian church – attempts to justify consumption and not feel bad about it. Also I didn’t mention the impact of the marginalisation of the Bible in many churches and the resulting liberalism and watering down of the gospel.

So how do we guide our children? One stream of parents I come across say that we shouldn’t guide our children. “Let them make up their own minds in their own good time. If Christianity is the best faith or the most suitable faith for them they will find it in time. We have an open family where all things are discussed and in time they will chose for themselves. After all, what we believe may not be the best thing for them.” A very open approach.

There are two things I want to say about this:

1. It is not an approach we would use in other areas of life. “Children will discover for themselves the need to brush their teeth, and wash their hands after having been to the toilet. If they wish to follow our example they can, if they don’t, that is their own choice.” We would call that neglect. The result would be rotten teeth and hepatitis Anyone who said this would be considered dim. “When the child decides that school is for them, then they will go to school or be educated.” We can imagine a host of other situations like this. Why then do we do this with faith? I believe the answer is simple. We have consigned it to the less important areas of life. Faith is personal, individual and not part of the mainstream of life. It is not worth the parental investment required. We will encourage sport and music, but not faith.

2. My second point is that this approach is the antithesis of what Scripture commands.

Breakfast Under the Big Birch Tree – Carl Larsson

Teach your children at every opportunity (Deut 6), train your child (Prov.22:6), do not hinder them from entering the Kingdom (Matt 18). God’s approach, the Bible’s approach is that children are precious and so need to be nurtured in eternal truths – the character of God, the nature of salvation and their place in His Kingdom, from an early age. This takes intention and time, effort and passion, faith and family. Scripture suggests that nurturing children is one of the most important, if not the most important, calling a parent has. There is no place for a laissez faire attitude.

We guard them from live power points, suspicious people and moving cars, so why don’t we protect their eternal souls from the clutches of the evil one?

Next I want to look at the opposite approach: Blinkering the child from other faiths.